This episode starts out with Steve Smith and Hayley Smith eating breakfast together. Steve rags on Hayley for being in a community college while Hayley rags on Steve for not having gone through puberty yet. Francine intervenes, and Klaus the East German fish admires how she rules with "an iron fist" and suggests that she stick her pinky finger into the bowl for him to nibble on.
Then, we are introduced to Stan and Roger. Roger wants to leave the house to get a pack of smokes, but Stan stresses how important it is that Roger stays inside the house, since he's an alien and all. Roger wants Francine to pick him up some Pecan Sandies, and then we notice the terror alert sticker on the fridge.
Hayley makes a comment about a "fun little system" that keeps the "masses paralyzed in fear." Meanwhile, the toaster pops up, and Stan pumps it full of lead.
"It's just toast, Dad," says Hayley. His response?
"This time it was toast, Hayley. This time."
Ever complacent, Francine offeres to take the mutilated toast.
Sitting down, Stan asks Steve how his girl search is going. Steve confidently says that he is going to ask out the head cheerleader, and shortly afterwards, Roger breaks his chair because he is too heavy. After Francine makes a comment, Roger gets offended, and Francine puts him on a diet. He goes from there to break the table.
At the office, Stan talks to a coworker about how he got a contract with Ikea to supply the entire country of Iraq with furniture so the entire country looks like "your first apartment."
"Check it out! The eraser is stuck under Bin Laden's pooper!"
Meanwhile at Pearl Bailey High School, Steve gets ready to proposition Lisa Silver. "I have a fully developed woman to conquer." Even his stereotypically nerdy asian Japanese friend
, who is busy eating air with chopsticks, tries to dissuade him.
He walks up to Lisa and snaps her bra. "Did that hurt so gooood?"
She doesn't even need her huge boyfriend's help to take care of him.
Walking down the street, he notices a man with a dog picking up a girl. Eureka! All he has to do now is get a dog to get a girlfriend!
Back at home, Stan and Francine are watching the news. Bush gets a phone call from God.
All in all, it ends up to be a weak joke, when God gets a call from Cheney and says, "Yes sir..?"
Steve asks for a dog, but Stan offers an etch-a-sketch. Francine hints that he will one day join the army, and Stan returns in a short moment with a ninteen-year old dog, who Steve will use as a symphathy dog. (It doesn't work.)
While Stan poses in the mirror for Francine, Roger drops a jar downstairs. Immediately, Stan pulls out a gun and asks, "Osama, is that you?" Long story short, Stan shoots the dog, and they bury him. During the funeral, we learn where Klaus came from. He was an East German skier who the CIA swapped brains with a fish so that he wouldn't win.
Stan finds out that Steve only wanted a dog for a girl, so he offers to steal a girl's purse so Steve can catch him and look like a hero. Unfourtunately, he uses his CIA moves
, and Steve is too much of a nerd to catch up.
While Hayley does her homework and eats a twinkie, Gary walks by and realizes his hunger. He offers to do her homework in exchange for food, and she complies. As they seal the deal, he excretes his alienly liquids all over her.
"Once every seven hours, like clockwork."
Stan talks to Roger about how he doesn't understand how Steve can't get a girl. Roger points out that Stan is powerful, and Steve isn't. Stan plans to rig the election by casting doubt on the opponents. The next day, Stan discredits the top opponent with this picture.
Steve Smith wins the election. The next day, the cheerleader asks him out. Ego inflated, he takes over the principal's office. Following shortly is the best joke of the episode. He calls Doris the secretary and asks her to send in the Mascot, the buffalo.
I can do anything I want. Ride the buffalo!
Meanwhile, Roger is eating junk food and falls asleep while writing Hayley's paper. "Henry Kissinger: More than a Jew." However, he manages to get Hayley an extension by bringing the dead dog to class. She doesn't want him to do his papers anymore, though.
Second time, still not funny.
As Steve walks down the halls a new king, he tries to kiss his new girlfriend. Suprise! She refuses. Confidence down, he creates a new school policy banning PDA, and Stan gets a call from the principal. Steve has barricaded himself at school.
Meanwhile, this joke is retarted. Stan resolves the problem at school by showing Steve a nerdy picture of himself as a child, which makes Steve feel better.
The episode ends with Roger helping Steve talk to girls for food.
A bad joke... three strikes... OUT.